The Deepest Regret
by DXRULES103
Summary: This is my version of what happens after the episode of July 18, 2008. It does involve Jack, Carly, Holden, Lily, Dusty, and Paul.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers**: I do not own anything.

**A/N**: I swear it's been so long. I'm trying my best though. I hope you all enjoy. Reviews keep me going.

**Summary**: This is my version of what will happen after the episode of July 18, 2008. It does involve Jack, Carly, Holden, Lily, Dusty, and Paul.

Lily was beside herself; near hysterics actually. There was an insurmountable grief taking hold of her heart and squeezing it with such tightness that a deep pain was felt. There were tears falling down her eyes as her breathing became even more rapid than before. She was holding herself and a picture; rocking back and forth finding no comfort in how lonely she felt.

The house was empty. The sky turned dark. There was a chill in the room. She was sitting near the wall beside the fireplace which gave no warmth to the cold that was deep within her.

She had just found out that her husband and best friend had been having an affair. She didn't understand how she could be so blind. Maybe because she actually believed in the sanctimony of marriage that she didn't see the signs that were obviously thrown at her face.

It hurt.

It hurt so much when she saw Carly standing in front of her house that she was determined to run down the women. But she didn't. Why? She didn't do the dreaded deed that was caused by pain, rage, and blame because she suddenly thought of her kids, her mom, her other friends, and Jack. It wouldn't be fair to them.

So she decided to deal with the pain. She would let herself come to a conclusion that she didn't want, but had to make. She made a plan to not let the others feel the horrible emotion of betrayal, but it was too late. Things just didn't go to plan. She knew Jack had to find out, but she didn't want Luke too – well, at least not from someone else. She didn't want Luke's relationship with his father to change just because he had an affair. But she knew that wouldn't matter. Luke made up his mind. In his thoughts, Holden was no longer the father to look up to. He was just a man who tore his mother's heart apart.

Luke had just left the house. Being alone here wasn't so pretty for Lily. This was the home that she and Holden shared together as husband and wife. Now, it was just hers and her children since signing those divorce papers and making that man move out.

She started to stare and stare into the picture of Holden that was in her hand. _Why? _She threw the photograph aside as she screamed in frustration and disbelief. She pulled her knees closer to her stomach and wrapped her arms tighter around them. She felt sick. She felt wronged. She was heartbroken.

The tears kept on falling; soaking whatever makeup was left on her face. The salty water both washed away some of the anger and stung her with more pain. She was bawling. She was crying because she lost two people in her life: her husband, and her best friend. _It's their fault!_ She began to rock even faster back and forth; back and forth. Her body was quivering as the tears started fall even harder than before.

_Why? Why? Why?_

_**TBC**_

_**End-note: I hope you all enjoyed this short one. Reviews appreciated!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimers**: I do not own anything.

**A/N**: I swear it's been so long. I'm trying my best though. I hope you all enjoy. Reviews keep me going.

**Summary**: This is my version of what will happen after the episode of July 18, 2008. It does involve Jack, Carly, Holden, Lily, Dusty, and Paul.

Jack couldn't deny the unbearable pain he felt. The shockwave that resounded through him at learning of the affair was still there reverberating through him and cutting his soul into shreds. He wanted to slash out at Holden and Carly. He needed to do something to stop this feeling of overwhelming sorrow.

He found himself wandering around Oakdale trying to make some sense out of the chaos that fell before him. He just couldn't fathom how his cousin and best friend would disrespect his wife Lily to have a relationship with his ex-wife Carly. It was unbelievable at best and horrifying at worse. He wondered what could have pushed those two to do such a drastic and life changing thing.

_I figured it out. _He had been blind before but not now. That veil over his eyes had gone when Lily was in the hospital. She wanted to run over Carly. The admission confused him even more and her statement that Carly wasn't her best friend anymore raised the level in higher. Her being sorry was an added clue as well. And when he saw Holden and Carly intending to ask about the gory details he knew.

He knew.

It made sense. Those two suddenly becoming best friends. Everything else in-between… It made sense.

And it hurt.

It made his upset as well – no, more than upset but furious. How could those two do it? How hypocritical can Holden be? How desperate was Carly?

He just didn't know.

And when he confronted Carly. Oh, the pain he felt when she silently admitted that he slept with Holden more than once disgusted him. It was like she had put a knife through his heart and kept on stabbing.

He hurt.

And he knew of nothing that could stop it.

….

Jack found himself at Lily's door. He didn't know why he was here. But he knew that he had to be. Lily was hurting to. He wasn't alone in this pain. Someone had to be there with her.

So he didn't bother to knock. He just turned the knob and to his curiosity the door opened.

"Lily?" he called out.

His eyes sought and found her. She was rocking back and forth against the wall near the fireplace. He walked quickly to her sensing her evident heartbreak and then crouched in front of her.

She was clearly distraught.

This was the worst damage that Holden and Carly caused.

"Lily…" he finally said after taking a gulp of air, ignoring his own pain and grief in order to successfully comfort the woman before him.

Lily flinched slightly at his voice. At first, Jack thought that she wasn't going to answer him, but she did. She just weakly tried to pull herself together and wiped some of her tears. She looked up at him; her eyes terribly red and swollen.

"Jack…" she whispered; her voice cracking.

But she broke again. She bent her head; shaking and heart breaking even more. Jack quickly stopped crouching and moved to sit beside her. He pulled her into his arms; letting her head rest on his chest.

"Shh…….." he said soothingly even though he didn't feel that it would work and that Lily wouldn't be calmed down in long while. "Shh…."

Lily buried her head as far as she could into his chest. It was a miracle that Jack understood her.

"Wh-why did this – happen?" she miserably asked.

Jack shook his head as he started to rub the small of her back in circular manner. He didn't know why this happened. The despair was still near. The shock was gone, but the deep hurt remained. All he could was say the truth.

"I don't know," he admitted. He laughed pathetically. "I don't even understand it."

"It hurts…it hurts so much." Lily gasped out. "Does it hurt you as much as it hurt me?"

Jack didn't answer at first. _Did it hurt as much? Did it? _Did his pain amount as much as hers?

He thought about the fact that Carly was his ex-wife and Holden was his cousin and best friend. As he thought about it longer, he realized that it did hurt. It hurt to know that his best friend would betray Lily. It pained him that Carly would use Holden against him. It was hard to know that they both willingly did this.

Lily lifted her head; the tears making her look even more vulnerable. The tears were no longer falling. The water had dried on her face as her eyes were red and swollen looking. The look in her eyes struck a chord his heart.

"Well?" she asked.

_Does it? _Jack slowly nodded. "Yes. Yes, it does."

Lily sniffled, "I'm so sorry."

She put her head back into his chest, found his heartbeat, and buried herself in it.

Jack closed his eyes and sighed.

"But it hurts more, knowing what this has done to you," he said.

What Lily said next was slightly muffled, but Jack knew what she meant.

"What happens next?" he repeated. Lily nodded in his chest. Jack bit his lip as his own tears finally came down. He pulled her closer in his arms.

"I don't know," he said simply with more truth than he could ever comprehend.

_I don't know._

_**TBC**_

_**End-note: I hope you all enjoyed this short one. Reviews appreciated!**_


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